A BOOK BY KASH DESAI
A Game You Didn’t Know You Were Playing
You learned the rules before you knew there was a game.
Be good. Fit in. Keep going. Become someone other people can understand. After a while, it gets difficult to tell where the character ends and you begin.
Loading Human follows that character from the first downloads of childhood to the moment you begin to notice who is holding the controller.
Available now in paperback and on Kindle.
You don’t need to be a gamer to recognise this game.
There is the version of you who knows what to say at work. The one who keeps everyone comfortable. The one who lies awake replaying a conversation that everyone else has probably forgotten.
In Loading Human, those familiar habits become an avatar, an approval algorithm and an inner manager with a clipboard. Through humour, personal stories and chapter checkpoints, Kash explores how we learn to perform a life, and what it can feel like to participate in it more honestly.
The book moves through two parts: The Download, where the character takes shape, and The Return, where ordinary life begins to feel different from the inside.
A taste of the voice
“Your router came with instructions in nine languages and one diagram that actually helped.”
“Your kettle came with a warning not to fill it with anything other than water, which means at some point somebody tried.”
“You came with nothing.”
From Before You Press Start
About Kash
Kash Desai is a London-based writer and creator of guided meditations and reflections. His work explores identity, awareness and the ordinary moments in which life begins to feel different. Loading Human brings those questions into a story about the character we learn to play, and the person holding the controller.
Find your copy
Available now in paperback and on Kindle. Choose your Amazon store below.
US paperback · Germany / EU paperback
Orders are placed with Amazon. Prices, formats and delivery options depend on your country and are confirmed by Amazon before you buy. The book is in English.
A few questions
Is this a book about video games?
It uses the language of games to explore being human. You don’t need gaming knowledge to read it.
Do I need to believe in a particular spiritual tradition?
No. The book uses imaginative and spiritual metaphors, and invites you to test them against your own experience.
How can I buy it?
Choose an Amazon store above to buy your copy, or read the free first chapter before deciding. Readers in the US and Europe can order through the Amazon listings above; availability and delivery depend on your location.
Is it a workbook or therapy guide?
It is a reflective book with chapter checkpoints. It is not a workbook or a substitute for professional mental health care.